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November 10, 2009. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

The English Obsession (Part I)

Mr S: “You cant read or write in your mother tongue??? English is the only language you are literate in???”

Myself: (sheepishly) “Yes :(”

Mr S: “Dude how can you disown your mother tongue and your national language. I am proud of my (mother tongue). I love Greek, I love writing in it and hell ya I love to abuse ppl in greek as well. I agree¬† English is like an universal language, but it shouldn be learnt at the cost of your language. I know my english is not perfect. I know broken english and always run to a dictionary if I fail to understand any sentence. But I am not bothered, cause all that matters is making the other person understand”

Mr R: In the subcontinent people respect you if you can speak english very well.

Mr S: Well we make fun of ppl who speak in english all the time. National Language should get the priority.

Myself: So in school, in which language did you learn Mathematics and Pure Science??

Mr D: Well we have learnt it in our respective national languages. We had english as an optional subject.

I was ashamed of myself. I was feeling guilty to have abandoned my mother tongue and embraced a foreign language, giving it a higher pedestal and creating an aura about it. I was always weak in Hindi and Kannada.

My grammatical skills in Hindi and Kannada is zilch and passing these subjects was always a struggle in its own. I still vividly remember the day of my 2nd PU Hindi Final Examination. I had taken this examination very lightly and passing it was my only concern. I had two days time to study for this particular exam and as a ritual I happily wasted one of the days. With one day to go and loads to study, I realized that I will never be able to complete the syllabus reading in Hindi. I started panicking. My past memories of miserably failing in Hindi came rushing into my head. I needed the 35 badly and the only way to get it was with a 50 (The price of the English guide to my Hindi syllabus). This book was a masterpeice. Learning Hindi in English..Man Brilliant!!!..I rushed through the guide, digesting bits and peices on the way and finished the syllabus just in time for the exam.

I was elated on completing the entire syllabus and went to the examination with a big grin on my face. But the real “Jatkha” was awaiting for me in the examination. On getting the answer sheets I realized that I have forgotten how to write in Hindi. <Imagine the state I am in>. I know all the answers to the questions, but I am unable to reproduce it into the paper. Panic Stricken I tried to recaptulate all the alphabets in Hindi. With mighty difficulty I remembered the symbols for 80% of them. Time was running out and I decided to write all the answers with only the limited set of alphabets. With a silent prayer I decided to start answering the questions. This is when a miracle took place.

A miracle which helped me pass the toughest examination of my life. The girl sitting in front of me decided to give her hands a rest and started stretching. She shifted her posterior a.k.a BUM a bit to the left and gave me a clear view of her answer sheet. Stunned at this new development and concealing my excitement, I immediately started reproducing the symbols into my answer sheet (Symbols not Answers..Mind it ūüôā ). The Kalidas in me arose silently and with the help of Shakesphere I was able to complete all the answers in time (Shakesphere helped me answer 30% of it in Hinglish ūüôā )…

(To be continued)

July 28, 2009. Uncategorized. 9 comments.

Sexuality

With its historic verdict, Delhi HC has managed something, which the UPA government for years was dillydallying to do ‚Äď ‚ÄúLegalizing Homosexuality‚ÄĚ. The Draconian article 377 laid down in the Victorian era, denied basic fundamental rights to almost 2% of the population [statistics is debatable].¬† It made criminals of innocent Human Beings and therby making them afraid to express themselves freely.

This verdict was received with loud cheer and celebration by the homosexuals and their activists. National media channels covered this historic event completely and even the International Media stood up and took notice. But our so called national parties happily avoided the entire happening with fear that it might spiral into a religious controversy. The fear of religion has made all our political parties to stay away from giving opinions on this verdict which will change the highest document of the Union of India ‚Äď The Constitution.

Over the years I have come to an understanding that religion always ties down growth, development and free thinking. Be it the Ram sethu controversy in India or the Burqa controversy in France or as it was, is and will be in the case of the Delhi HC verdict. The spiritual leaders of all religions condemn this verdict on the grounds, that it will pollute the present system and destroy our culture as we know it.

I was amused by these leaders. I was amused by the fact as to how little these people know about the opinions of a common man. The surveys conducted by the media clearly showed that people were indeed happy with the verdict and do not have any issues in accepting the concept of homosexuality. But the spiritual leaders and politicians rubbished these surveys and held their stand that majority of the Indian public are not comfortable accepting sexuality let alone homosexuality and indeed think the verdict will pollute the system.

Is this true?? Is the survey a reflection of only a part of the population??For a change do our politicians really know what the majority feel?? Shockingly the answer which I realised recently is a YES!!

This weekend I had gone out with three of my friends to a Thai festival. The festival, aimed to promote Thailand, brilliantly showcased the culture and tradition of the Thai‚Äôs. We guys were having a nice time watching the traditional Thai dance, trying out the Thai cusine and talking everything under the sun. In one such conversation, some one brought up the topic of Lady Boys and this slowly drifted to ‚ÄúArticle 377‚ÄĚ (Don‚Äôt ask me how).

Here is a excrept of the conversation:

Myself: Thank God they scrapped that idiotic article. Homosexuals can taste freedom now. Hey P!! You and R wont have any problems now ;). Good as of now, no religious leader is planning to challenge it also.

P: What good!! This was really a horrible thing to happen

Myself: Why do u say so??

P, S1 and S2: Homo sexuality is against our culture and religion. Just imagine what will happen to our society

Myself: Common don’t start with culture and religion. And nothing will happen to the society. They wont come to the streets and start having sex now. Also people simply wont change their sexual orientation because it became legal.

S1: This is totally against all religion. My religion clearly tells that, these people should be kept away and not allowed to mingle with the society.

S2: It is against normal culture as well. There is a reason for opposite sexes to like each other. They are like two sets of forces which should become one for the growth of the humanity

Myself: Religion and holy books are written centuries back, when humans could not understand this clearly. They termed it evil because of lack of knowledge. But it was not considered evil in my religion. Lord Ayyappa himself is the son of Lord Shiva and Lord Vishnu. Coming to culture. Well its time our culture accepted this fact. You cannot force these people to become intimate with sexes they don’t prefer. They have their right of existence and identity. It is not a problem in their body that they have to get it cured. Its just a personal choice

P or S1: The best thing is to send them to a psychiatrist. To get their heads checked

Myself: Nooo it is not a mental problem. They are perfectly fine human beings. It has been proved that homosexuality has nothing to do with mental problem. The Delhi verdict allowed these people for the first time to tell that they are free.

Myself: Forget this. Did u know Kissing in public is illegal in India, under Section 294

S2: Dint u know about this??

Myself: No!! They should right away scrap this. Kissing is just an expression of love.

P, S1 and S2: What the hell u talking. Good kissing is illegal. People should confine these emotions to private places

Myself: Ya right. In what sense kissing breaks the law?? They are just expressing love and care to their partner. I work in an airport and I can see the love being expressed properly, unlike in India where a half hearted hug is given with the fear of offending or looking bad in public’s eye.

S2: In India it is really dangerous to make it legal. Kissing in public, might build up sexual urge in guys who do not have a partner or in guys who have always been rejected by gals. These guys on being exposed to couples kissing might resort to rape to pour out the urge….

[end of conversation]

I was shocked on getting to know the opinion of my friends. I realised that in my very own friends circle,  3 among 4 Indians are against the verdict. They were not comfortable with concept of homosexuality and still consider it is a problem which should be cured. For a change the politicians are right. They are speaking out for the general public. But this does not mean, the verdict is wrong. Sometimes a majority can make mistakes and this is when common sense should kick in.

We Indians lack basic knowledge about physical intimacy. We avoid any discussion which has to do with sex. Channels are changed when condom advertisements are aired, Actresses are sued when they wear the same costume they wore in a movie to a public place, Khajurao as a temple is promoted instead of Khajurao a work of art and Religious leaders are given undue importance to corrupt the minds of the people. Dostana and Emraan Hashmi have clearly failed J

I really hope the petition by Baba Ramdev is cast aside and the government tries its best to educate people about sexuality and its pros and cons. As for most of my friends, I hope they can overcome the conservative mind set and accept nature without limitations.

July 8, 2009. Tags: , , , , . Uncategorized. 1 comment.

That 1 sec of your life

How many times do we look back into our past and wonder – What would have happened to my life if I had opted for that other choice??. What would have happened if at that particular SECOND, I was a little stupid or clever enough??

The funny and the beautiful part of life is, we always get multiple choices every single second and it is in these choices, that a person is shaped. But little do we realize that our life is not only shaped by our choice, but also by the choices made by many known and unknown people eons and eons ago. This concept is beautifully captured by the term Butterfly Effect, which most of us are familiar of.

To make this concept little clear and also to share my experience of the Butterfly Effect, I pen down two such events which made a profound impact on my future. In the first event I am the protagonist of the day and the “maker” of the choices. But the second event has nothing to do with me. It has taken place centuries before my birth and the people in this event have no tiny connection with any of my family members, even if I stretched the family tree 10 centuries back.

Event 1 :

I am not able to shake this particular event off my memory. It keeps coming back to me all the time, cause I know my life would have been completely different if this day had unfolded in a different way. There was nothing spectacular about this day. I dint face a life or death situation neither was I close to winning a 1 million dollar lottery. It was just a normal day in the life of a “irresponsible” student.

It was during the time I had just finished my 1st PUC. Like rest of the herd I too joined tutorials in the summer to kick start my 2nd year. The usual grinding process started and so did the monotonicity of Physics, Mathematics and Chemistry. Let alone the fact that my summer vacations were being ruined, I also had to forgo weekends to attend these classes.

This event unfolds on one such weekend. I had my Mathematics tutorials to attend a particular Saturday and the lecturer was going to teach us something very important and something he was very sure would come in the examinations (I always wondered whether he used to set the question paper??). Also on the same day there was this family function to attend and most of my cuz’s were planning to attend the function.

Two choices spread in front me. Attend the same, old boring Mathematics classes and learn stuff which I was sure I would never implement in my entire life or go to the function and have 3 hrs of uninterrupted masti. I wasn’t spoiled with choices. I just had to pick one from the other. Now is where the student side of me wakes up and I happily bunk the tutions, convincing myself that I will study that part later and attend the masti session.

As fate had it, I was never able to study that small part of my Mathematics syllabus and as foretold 2 compulsory questions from that part made its way into the paper. 16 marks I had to forego and an easy chance to score cent um in that paper ūüė¶ . These lost marks reflected in my CET result as well and my ranking dropped considerably. This made me settle for a particular college I had never seen in my life to do my undergraduation and the choices I made in that college got me to Southampton and so I sit here typing away to kill the boredom seeping into me.

Well did I have masti in that function?? Heck I dont even recollect as to which function was it and neither do I remember any of my cuz’s coming to that function as well :). But i am not complaining about my present. I am very much happy and know for sure that I would want this life to anything else life had to offer me ūüôā

Event 2:

Battle of Swally. This relatively small naval war shaped the history of India according to me. What if the Portugese had won the battle? What if East India Company were completely anihilated? What if Portugal colonized India? Would I be in Southampton or Lisbon right now?

June 28, 2009. Uncategorized. 4 comments.

Blogging after a long hiatus

I am unable to come up with any satisfying and a completely fool proof excuse to explain my absence from the blogosphere, these past 3 months. The thing which shocked me the most was when I realised that – “I was too lazy to find even 15 minutes of time to write a post in 3 whole months!!!”.

Anyways it wasn’t that I was outright lazy and dint do a thing these past 3 months. I did experience few “Happy”, “Not So happy” and “Outright Pissing Off” moments during this time.

Happy

1) I enjoyed my one month vacation in India completely. I was eagerly looking forward for these vacations and managed to strike out many of the stuff I had written in my “Easter Bucket List”.

2) I completed all the Theory subjects in my Masters and passed them with flying colors ūüôā .

3) My dissertation topic looks promising and interesting and I am eagerly waiting to start it with full diligence.

4) Have fallen in love with the English summer. Hasn’t rained much this year and it gets dark at 9 pm [wow].

5) Went to Bournemouth Beach on a nice sunny day and realised that mermaids are not mythological. They do exist ūüėČ

6) More about my India trip : a)Tried various restaurants and fell in love with the Mediterranean cuisine.¬† b) Rode my bike to heart’s content. c) Had a nice time with my friends in Club Cabana. d) Enjoyed every moment I got to spend with Miss S :). e) Had an amazing time with my ex- team mates in a team outing :).

Not so Happy

1) Donated money for one day’s lunch for a traffic police (Got caught for overspeeding in a place where speed limit dint exist).

2) Had a bad experience in Heathrow Airport on reaching UK. Was stuck in the flight for an hour after landing due to some “technical difficulties”.

3) A group assignment ended up being a one man show and it caused my favorite assignment to get screwed really bad.

4) Was unable to visit VVpuram when I came to Bangalore ūüė¶ .

Outright Pissing off

1) This incident has affected me a lot and I am sure I will not be able to forget this incident till I find those A**H**ES. I got punched in my jaw by cowardly “Rowdies” who attacked me from the back and escaped on a motorcycle, while I was doing Gandhigiri and my bit to improve traffic sense among Bangloreans.

Well I hope I get back to my regular posting spree and manage to keep my blog upto date ūüôā

June 21, 2009. Uncategorized. 4 comments.

U Fool’s of Took – Just enjoy the song :)

These days I find it better, easier and safer to listen to a song on you tube, rather than downloading them for free¬†and breaking few rules on the way. Anyways from the past two days I am hooked onto old hindi and a few new¬†kannada songs. Yesterday while shifting between various songs on youtube, I landed on an old mukesh hit song, “Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein khyal aata hai”. This particular song is a master peice according to me. The beautiful lyrics combined with Mukeshji voice leaves you spell bounded.

Anyways after listening to this song a number of times I decided to shift over to another of Mukeshji’s hit, when my eyes caught attention of the comments which followed this particular song. I was¬†taken aback when I read few of the comments over this song.¬†Few people had¬†made this a battleground to¬†decide as to which¬†of the two language¬†is more superior “Hindi” or “Urdu”. I was left disgusted. When will these people learn¬†to stop bickering over small issues and Why can’t they just appreciate this song and dedicate it their special one?

Anyways¬†I decided to share two songs with you all. One is¬†“Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mein” and the other one is a song from Aa Dinagalu Movie, ” Sihi Gaali”.¬†Both these songs¬†can take you away¬†to Ooollaaalla Land ūüôā ..Enjoy madi¬†

March 17, 2009. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 2 comments.

Musharaff pissed

Appreciate¬†Maulana Madani’s¬†guts to speak against and embarass Musharaff¬†and I even like Musharaff’s reply- Stern as a Dictator.

March 17, 2009. Tags: , . Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

She is someone very special :)

Tringgggggg…The sound reverberated through my ears…”Finally its time!!”, I said to myself. I crosschecked my paper,¬†ran my fingers through the¬†tag to see if it¬†was bound tight, admired my not so legible handwriting and waited eagerly for the teacher to collect my paper. It was finally over, the last exam was completed, 4th standard was behind me¬†and 2 moths of vacations lay ahead of me. I was eagerly waiting for this day, waiting to enjoy the summer and eagerly waiting to meet her.¬†¬†I rushed outside¬†the school premises¬†and¬†as promised found my father waiting in front of the tree, inside the car along with my mother. I opened the car door and jumped on my mother’s lap.¬†My¬†father kissed me on my forehead and I immediately wiped it with my hand complaining that his moustache hurts me. He smiled and started the car. He knew I was lying, he knew¬†how much I liked it.¬†The car made its way through the last bylanes of the city¬†and entered the highway. I knew it would take¬†3 more hrs from here. A long wait before I could reach the city of palaces, before I could enjoy the slides and the swings in the backyard,¬†before I could play cricket and tour the zoo¬†with my uncle and a long wait before I could meet her. I was¬†slowly¬†drifting¬†off to dreamland, listening to¬†Kishore Kumar songs. Half sleepy,¬†my thoughts slowly wandered away to those gifts which would be tucked away in¬†her cupboard. She knew I liked them the most. She even knew¬†how eagerly I would start flipping through them as soon as I would¬†lay my hands on them. Food and water always¬†had to wait and my mother¬†would¬†end up having¬†a torrid time, feeding me. My mother would blame her for giving those books to me, before my dinner. Silence was always¬†her reply to my mother’s rant. She knew the reason for¬†this behavior of mine, after all¬†I had imbibed it from her. She would throw a sweet smile at me, I was her first grandson and she my loving Grandmother.

Even though¬†I would¬†get to spend¬†atmost¬†30 days in a year with her, she had the biggest influence on my life. She made me fall in love with science, literature and¬†books. Unknowingly she also¬†thought me¬†my life’s biggest lesson, ” If you have¬†set your¬†mind¬†on achieving something big, break the shackles of society if need be”.

My grandmother never spoke much of her past and I never wanted to dwell into them either. But of what I knew,¬†I¬†am immensely proud to have such a grandmother.¬†She was a freedom fighter and a great followers of the teachings of Mahatma Gandhiji –¬†To date she only wears kadhi sarees as a sign of respect to Mahatama Gandhiji and his ideologies. Her devotion to the freedom struggle was so strong that she¬†gave up marriage as it¬†prevented her from taking part¬†in this virtuous cause¬†.¬†She¬†was a¬†professor of Physics¬†in one of the reputed colleges in Bangalore.¬†She¬†is the mother of 3¬†kids whom she lovingly adopted¬†(one of them being my mother). Finally she¬†is the founder of¬†a school¬†to which she is still dedicated.

As a kid I was always drawn to her library. Her library¬†were¬†filled with books which ranged from Jeffery Archer to Science Journals to Champaks and Tinkle. Back in those days, the latter books were all I could read. I always told my mother that one day I would read those big fat books. My grandmother took the cue and as my luck would have it, a particular author was finally able to find a publisher.¬†I had just¬†finished my first year of high schooling and as always¬†left for her place as soon as the vacations started. I reached¬†her home in anticipation¬†to find¬†a stack of¬†Tinkle’s Champaks and Tintin’s . But instead¬†something else was awaiting my arrival this time.¬†My grandmother¬†handed out two books to me, wrapped cleanly in brown paper. It looked like one of those¬†big fat books which i always admired, I slowly opened the¬†first book to find the words Harry Potter printed on it.¬†I enjoyed the books completely and finished them in 3 days straight. I was eagerly awaiting for¬†the release of the next book and she knew it. From then on till the very last book, she always¬†managed to send me¬†the first copies of¬†Harry Potter¬†books, which entered the Indian Market.¬†The first two books of Harry Potter also¬†gave me the much¬†needed confidence to¬†dig through the other novels in her collection.¬†

Literature was not the only thing which she introduced to me. She also made me fall in love with Physics very early in my schooling. I remember one particular vacations, when she took time off managing the school and thought me the entire concept of refraction and prisms, even before it was introduced to me by my school. Physics became one of my favorite subject and understanding and analysing it my favourite pass time.

Writing all this about her made me realise how much of my present life is shaped because of her and how tough it will be for me to earn even half the respect which people give her. I am waiting to meet her during this vacations and spend time with her and relive those days.

March 17, 2009. Tags: , , . Uncategorized. 3 comments.

A romantic poem from someone unexpected

“Mein shayar to Nahi…Magar eh hasin…jabse dekha maine tujhko, mujhko shayari aagayi”


“Love”, is one of the most complex human emotion to comprehend. Love has power to melt the toughest of hearts, Grant life to the dying, bring peace among neighbors and in this particular case- make poets of someone totally unexpected.

My friend recently met a girl and things clicked between them very instantaneously. It was wonderful to see the initial spark of romance between these two. The harmless flirting, the constant messages and the lengthy phone conversations. The two of them spent many a happy moments together oblivious to the existence of things around them. But I always managed to stay in touch with this couple’s budding love story. Now coming to this post-¬† It is about a particular day when my friend came up to me asking of a small favor (A piece of wisdom rather).

He told me that, the girl’s birthday was nearing and he had managed to purchase a nice gift for her, but was in a dilemma as to how to write those few important lines in the greeting card which would sweep the girl of her feet. Knowing him from the past 5 yrs, I knew how tough the task was going to be for him and how much effort it would demand of him. My friend was not good with words and I very well knew that it would cost him an entire writing pad to get those few important lines.

I decided to help him out and tried my level best to come up with phrases which would touch her heart. But as usual words failed me and I cursed my knowledge of the English Vocabulary (I have a dubious distinction of scoring negative marks in the verbal section of CAT). With nothing to offer other than my sincere apologies, I wished him all the luck to come up with something good. Days passed after this particular incident and as usual my mind completely erased this particular conversation from my memory. But yesterday when we both met up online and after the initial concerns about his life and my own, the topic shifted to his love interest. I suddenly remembered about our previous conversation and I asked him as to how her birthday went and what he managed to gift her.

This is when this fellow completely surprised me. He told me that he managed to pen down a poem on his on and dedicate it to the girl. I was completely surprised and very curious to hear the poem. After hours of coaxing and persuasion I managed to get it out of him. I was left stunned. The poem was very good considering it to be his first and the amount of time he took to write it (half a day for those who want intricate details). I immediately decided to share this with one and all and borrowed the copyrights from him to publish this piece of literature ūüôā . Here goes the poem,

There are times when I feel bad,

These are the times when I am in the cab missing you.

There are times when I feel desperate,

These are the times when I can see you but cant talk to you.

There are times when I feel sad,

These are the times when my phone beeps and its not you.

There are times when I feel irritated,

These are the times when I see someone trying to flirt with you.

There are times when I am content,

These are the times when I see that sweet smile of yours.

There are times when I am smiling,

These are the times when you can see me staring at you and you cant do anything abt it.

There are times when I frown,

These are the times when I dont get time to talk to you.

There are times when I act stupid,

These are the times when I am writing something like this for you.

( P.S : hope you guys can share few things via comments about people whom you know, who came up with something unexpected because of love :))

March 11, 2009. Tags: , . Uncategorized. 4 comments.

Topi hakodu :)

8 simple and easy steps to dupe people into believing that you are having fun in a foreign country ūüôā

Step 1 : Shell out a few thousands and purchase a stunning SLR camera

Step 2: Find two or three people who are as bugged as you and chalk out a plan. (Actually even one person will do)

Step 3: Select a place, which you know is overhyped, but has been portrayed as the most glamorous place by the movie industry.

Step 4: Tidy yourself up and try looking at your best, even though it is gonna take you ages to tame that overgrown mane of yours.

Step 5: Reach the place and start searching for that spot which has been shown in those innumerable Bollywood songs.

Step 6: Hand over the SLR camera to your friend and try bringing out that Blinding smile of yours, which clearly went missing after coming to this new country.

Step 7: Get back home (As there is clearly nothing else to do in that place), upload the snaps in your Orkut album and come up with a set of whacky captions.

Step 8: Finally sit back, grab a drink and enjoy the comments from your friends who unknowingly fell into your well laid out trap ūüôā

March 11, 2009. Uncategorized. Leave a comment.

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